2005-06-06

These are emotional days

I�m a bit of a mess today from the emotional last few days I�ve had. The weekend was so much fun and we had a wonderful time at the shower. I had a little too much to drink (as evidenced by the last entry), but I didn�t not get sick nor suffer from a hangover. I was tired a LOT yesterday. I napped in the afternoon and still managed to sleep when bedtime came.

The Canadian has been emailing me today and it�s got me a little emotional. He�s not said anything bad. On the contrary it�s all been very nice, but in some ways that makes it hurt a little. Is that silly or what? He wishes me every happiness, tells me that I�m such a great person and that he hopes I have found a good man in Carl. He even got Carl�s name right. LOL I have never been happier with anyone than I am with Carl. But a part of me still remembers how much fun Doug and I had. How great things were for a while. And then I remember what an asshole he was and I�m even happier being with Carl. LOL The emotional part is not about sadness, or feeling sorry for myself, or wondering why the Canadian didn�t want me or whatever. It�s about how really happy I am, and realizing I never thought I would ever find myself in this place again� this place being a relationship leading to marriage. Carl�s family is so wonderful� I had to sit apart from everyone at the party on Saturday night and have a cry because I have waited 11 years for that feeling of �family� again. And they have been waiting all of Carl�s life for him to find someone to have a family with. It was just a weekend of very overwhelming emotions, but none of them bad.

kellbelle at 10:58 a.m.

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