2006-02-21

Test Day

First off, I want to thank everyone for the support and encouragement the last couple weeks. I'm sitting here trying not to psych myself out for the test today. I want to go review, but I don't want to cram and confuse myself. I will review the information briefly before class. I'm usually there an hour early (I have to find a parking spot), so I will have time to look things over between now and then.

I'm on my second cup of coffee and I hope that doesn't work against me. I'm nervous because I don't feel prepared. Maybe I really AM prepared, but I won't really know that until I see the test, will I? I had myself all confused last night trying to remember all the amendments. I kept telling myself that the 15th was freeing the slaves. Uhhhh no Kelly, 13 is freeing the slaves, 14 is equal protection (blacks recognized as citizens) and 15 is the right to vote. Okay... I can remember those in order. Now if I could just remember all the other ones! LOL

Church was very interesting on Sunday and I've been meaning to write about it, but didn't want Carl catching a peek. We attended a Sunday school class about "What is enough?" It was really interesting. The discussion got off topic a lot, but when we were on track, things were very thought provoking.

What do we spend most of our time doing? Is that enough for us? It really put a troubled look on Carl's face and he was very emotional the rest of the day. I know how hard it must be for him to see me in school and he's in a job that he is overqualified and underpaid for. He is so much more capable of doing anything than I am, yet I'm the one in school. He wants to find another job... one that he has a passion for. But at the same time, that might mean he has to drive to Dallas every day... or that we might have to move. He's not willing to give up our location or to drive an hour to work every day. I keep praying that something will come along for him. He's so smart and talented. He would be great at any kind of human service agency... or some kind of planning commission... or in government. I see these things in him but how do I empower him?

That got ME to thinking... if I can't even empower my own husband, how do I expect to empower other people in the field of social work? ugggh I don't like self doubt, but I recognize that this is the test talking. I have finally found a passion for something and can do something that will make a difference to people. I need to stick with this one.

I started at the immigration services place on Saturday and it was fun. The weather was bad so things were really slow, but that's a good thing. I had time to figure out where things were, look at all the forms and even help one or two people that came in. I think it's going to be a neat place to work.

I got my Spanish books and software and will be starting on those soon, too. I think I'm going to wait until this run of tests is over at school before I jump into something else.

Tonight I have a delegate meeting for Girl Scouts. I feel a little like I'm in over my head these days with outside activities, but honestly it feels good to have things to do and places to go... and I've actually been recognized by people as I've been out and about in the community. That is a really great feeling when you feel like you've been a hermit for the last two years! I even wear makeup to the grocery store now! LOL

Well, I should take a peek at the books and go practice some deep breathing relaxation. Have a great day!

kellbelle at 8:35 a.m.

previous | next