2003-05-24

Saturday At The Zoo

Went to the zoo today with my kiddo and the ex. It wasn't really too bad. He was nice the whole time and I think we talked more today than we ever did the whole time we were married. LOL

I think it's good that my daughter sees us doing things together. That we can still get along as friends. In fact we get along better now than we ever did the whole 7 years we were married. I didn't feel pressured to see the things he wanted to see, or wander with him at every turn. If only our marriage were that way I think we would have lasted a lot longer. Well, now that I say that... I don't think he really loved me. He wanted a child and a wife. Not ME as his wife... he just wanted someone.

He is a little narrow minded sometimes, and his redneck shines through. Most of the time I try to ignore it, but I hate it when he talks that way around our daughter. You would think someone who wants to appear so professional wouldn't want to appear so ignorant, but that's just him.

But she had fun at the zoo. All she did was talk about the last time I had been do the zoo with her. It was when Mr Canada was here. We took all kinds of pictures and he carried her on his shoulders. I was waiting for the ex to say something bad, but he didn't. I was very surprised at his tolerance. He even asked about Tim.

AND ... he even bought me lunch. It was then that he realized he had left his new digital camera on the roof of the car back at the zoo. Boy was he pissed, but I'm really proud of him. He didn't get ugly or anything. Kept his temper in check. We finished lunch and then he and the kiddo went back out to the zoo to look for the camera. He never called to say if he found it or not, so I doubt that he found it.

In a way, this is Karma for him. He is very focused on money and possessions. I almost expected him to say that every time he's with me he loses money, but as I said, he was good. He was actually pleasant to be with today. It's just that he's always lecturing me about spending money on frivolous things, and then he loses his new camera. I have felt off and on bad for him most of the evening. I laugh a little at the irony, and then I feel bad again.

Watched Bridget Jones's Diary tonight with a friend who bought pizza. Friday, again I say this, I was wondering how I would make it through the weekend alone. I guess all that mantra repetition "I am safe and strong alone... I will always have people who love and support me." actually works! Hehehe The power of positive thinking.

Since I've had so much time off, I have been reading a lot more. I think I'm going to start analyzing some of that reading here. Gives me a place to voice the inner workings of my mind I guess. And who really cares if anyone reads it. I just type faster than I can write my thoughts down on paper, so here is where I shall write about them.

The cats are at it again. Fucking horny things that they are. I'll never sleep.

kellbelle at 10:22 p.m.

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