2005-05-10

I'm all about random entries these days

I just farted REALLY loud in my cube by accident. The office went quiet for about a minute and then everyone busted out laughing. Hehe You gotta hate those unexpected moments.

Yesterday was busy. I had my workload to do as well as fill in for the receptionist when she was on break and at lunch. It�s really not a bad thing. I get to watch a little TV and just answer the phone. It breaks the day up nicely and makes it go pretty quick.

Last night we started working on the garden stepping stone for Carl�s mom. Aubrey made it for her birthday this coming Monday. Carl said he doesn�t think she will like it, I think she will love it. Aubrey is her first/only grandchild, so I can�t imagine her not liking something that Aubrey made. If she doesn�t like it she can just put it up when Aubrey isn�t around. I think it�s adorable. I�ll take a picture of it when it�s all dry and cleaned up. It has to set for 2 days before we can take it out of the plastic mold.

We are down to 6 weeks until the wedding. I can hardly believe where the time is going. I need to go get my nails done before the weekend as we are going to see Carl�s mom at the lake. I guess they are having a party on Saturday night, so I will have to wrap up the stepping stone sometime before the weekend as well. I may get a pedicure as well. My big toe has been hurting really bad. Not the toe itself, but the joint (I guess it�s the knuckle?) where it connects to the foot. It really hurt after wearing those 3� heels on Saturday walking around on pavement. At least during the wedding I will be sitting down at times and I can take the shoes off at the reception. Hehe Anyway, when I get the pedicure, they give an awesome foot/leg massage and I think that would be really good.

I was looking at those foot spa things for home, but I�ve heard they don�t keep the water hot for very long. Have any of you ever used one of those things? I was either thinking about getting just a plain foot soak thing or one that had the jets in it. If it doesn�t stay hot, I don�t think I want it. Who wants to soak their feet in cold water?

Today feels like it�s going really slow, as usual, but in the overall picture I kind of wish everything would slow down a little. It feels as if life is flying by and I don�t have all that much to show for it! LOL I would really love to just sleep a day away because of all the rushing around. I�m hoping we go to the lake early on Saturday. That place is so relaxed you can nap all day and still sleep all night. Sleep is good. Sleep is my friend. I really would like to go out to my car and nap at lunch, but I�m sure someone out there would wake me up and ask �Are you okay???� hehe

I was thinking last night about my time spent in therapy when I got divorced. I originally went to the counseling for the marriage that was falling apart, but when Aubrey�s dad refused to go with me, it turned more on my and myself. I learned a lot about myself and about the people around me. Aubrey�s dad had been feeding me negative words for 6 years and slowly I had accepted those words to be my own. My path to self love was diverted to one of self deprecation and negativity. It�s really strange how many negative things we tell ourselves every day. We are more cruel to ourselves than I think the average person is to any friend they might have. I learned about affirmations and healthy self talk. I got to thinking about this because of the bridal portrait. I don�t really like how I looked, and I don�t mean the pictures or the way they were taken� I mean myself. I have really gained a lot of weight and looking at the truth made me cry. But I digress. Affirmations are supposed to be positive messages that we tell ourselves. I see it as taking care of our inner child. A parent tells their kids �Good job! I�m so proud of you!� Yet we often tell ourselves �THAT was really stupid! You�re such an idiot!� I readily admit I still need strong work in this area. I am much harder on myself than on anyone else around me. I think I�m pretty open minded, forgiving and optimistic, except when it comes to myself and things that I do or have done.

Anyway� that�s enough of this babble for now. I�m tired and in need of a nap.

kellbelle at 11:46 a.m.

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