2007-04-29

Reflection and Thanksgiving

There are two weeks of school left. I'm so pumped, but not quite over the hill yet. I have a biology lab final this Tuesday and I will get the take home portion of my Stats final tomorrow. The rest of my exams are next week. I know I should pass everything, but I feel terrible for getting C's this semester. But yes, I took on a lot and passing my classes with a new baby and a family is nothing to be ashamed of. I wish I would have taken it a little bit easier on myself this semester, but only one more year until I graduate. At this time next year I will be getting ready to walk across the stage. I can hardly believe it.

We had a very interesting sermon in church today. It was on Psalm 23, A Psalm of David.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want; He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for Thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presences of my enemies; thou annointest my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
- Psalm 23

The surmon talked about those of us who are overwhelmed. But my mind drifted from the surmon to my kiddo. When her dad died, she was there in that valley. But you know what? She wasn't alone, and she didn't walk through. She had Carl and I to carry her through, and I'm sure the Lord had a little bit to do with that too. but me, I still feel like I'm in that valle some days. I'm wandering around in it and I'm lost there.

To have the trusting heart of a child. That is what I'm praying for right now. It's what got Aubrey through that valley. And she just trusted others to lead her through it. As a grownup I sometimes think that there is no one to care for the child in me. When we were kids and we were scared we could go crawl into bed with mom and dad. Where do we go when we're grownups? Where do we turn for that kind of patient and understanding love that only a parent can give us? We have each other, certainly. And a lot of you have been that patient, quiet voice of understanding. I love you all for that. I see now there are hands to guide me through my own valley. They are the hands of people who barely know me but have made me feel so much love. Thanks for being there for me and helping out in your own ways. You are all loved.

kellbelle at 9:01 p.m.

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