2003-06-06

Finish What You Started

So today I have a plan. I have too many things just hanging in the air. Last night as I lay in bed (trying to sleep), I thought about all the open ended things I have right now. I've had three months to do some things and they are still incomplete.

My bankruptcy for one. All I have to do is get the stuff to my attorney. HELLO.. get your lazy ass out the door. Problem is I can't afford to drive all the way over to where he is to deliver them, so I'm going to sit down today and mail them. A drive to the post office I can afford.

Last night instead of moping around, I drove to take Becky to get her car. Doug lectured me yesterday that I do tons of things for Becky but see very little in return from her. Which is bullshit. Becky is the one person I can phone with any kind of news, whether I'm crying or laughing, and no matter if I woke her up from sleeping or interrupted her dinner, she will listen to me and tell me I'm not crazy. She's more family to me than friend. And besides... even if she weren't a good friend (which she is the best), why does that mean I have to save MY good acts for other people? I mean just because someone isn't a good friend to me, why does that preclude that I not be a good friend? I try to do nice things for everyone, not just people I know. Afterall, look at all the kindness I have received from people I barely know... people giving me money and food and helping me look for work. Rediculous.

So anyway, I took Becky to get her car and stopped at Blockbuster on my way home. I've been so hormonal, I know my period is coming... and with all this depression I've been feeling I know it's gonna be a bad one. Every other one is manic or depressive and let's just say last month was the "up" month. I was DYING for chocolate or something bad. My plan to not keep that shit in the house has been working. I think I ate an entire fruit tree yesterday after all the apples, bananas and oranges I ate. I know that's a good thing, but you girls know what I"m talking about when the chocolate craving kicks in. It's almost like when you're pregnant and in childbirth. "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND GET ME SOME CHOCOLATE" Yeah that was me. But... I get there.... and talked myself out of it. Rented two movies and went home cursing because I didn't get chocolate. hehe But I was good. Had another apple and watched Die Another Day (from lack of chocolate).

Someone emailed me this morning about a "Cause for concern". The National Drivers License Records Bureau now has a database where you can search for driver's licenses. I was happy to get it. I lost my updated license last year when I moved, and have been unable to get a new one online because I didn't know the expiration date! LOL I've been driving around with an old expired license. This way maybe I can see what my actual expriation date is! How clever. LOL

Anyway, back to finishing what I started, I need to make a list of all the crap I could be getting done before I go back to work. Because you know as soon as I get started on everything, they will call me and tell me they want me to work ... and then the list will remain incomplete! What a plan, huh?

kellbelle at 11:10 a.m.

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