2004-07-22

In a funk

I had dreams about the Canadian ALL night long last night. I was in Canada for some reason or another and I stopped to visit his parents. He wasn't home (he was with his kids), so I left a note on his bed saying hello and sorry I missed him. I went to the airport and flew home (which was at my folks' place). What seemed like a little while later, he showed up there asking me why I left without seeing him. I explained that I had to fly and couldn't miss my flight just to say hello to him. We talked and laughed and it felt like a really nice dream until I woke up feeling really sad. I haven't seen Doug in over a year now I think. It was really nice to see his face smiling in my dream. I don't really want to get back together with Doug. I just miss my friend. I miss him a lot sometimes. I guess today is one of those days.

I'm also stressed out today. They are foreclosing on my house August 3rd. I have been fretting over money again this month. Things are so tight and I shouldn't have stayed at the hotel for Chou Chou's wedding, but I'm glad I did. It was a really relaxing and fun time with Carl. And I don't want Carl to feel bad about me paying for the hotel. He shells out money all the time for me and Aubrey. He bought tires for my car ($350!!) and takes us out to eat all the time. He's such a wonderful man.

Forgive my weird whining mood today. I just have to get out of my funk I guess.

kellbelle at 12:00 p.m.

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