2004-12-15

Blather and Bother and Business, Oh My!

Aubrey has �business day� today at school. Once a month they come up with a themed booth to sell things at. Last month was Native American day. We bought beef jerkey, took a picture of her in her Halloween costume (she went as a Native American princess) and wrote �Aubrey�s Buffalo Bits� on it. Hehe Other kids made bow & arrows, dream catchers, things with feathers, etc. This week was to create a game where you could learn something. I was really proud of her. Her idea was simple. Checkers Math. They had to roll the dice and then move whatever checkers they wanted the number of times the dice said. Not a bad idea for a kid. Better idea than any I could come up with (absolutely none).

So last night we worked on coloring extra �checkers� and boards so that more than 2 kids could play at the same time. This was after a loooong math session that Carl had with her. Carl and I were still coloring and cutting out stuff long after Aubrey was in bed. I made the comment that I felt like I hadn�t slept in weeks and he said �Oh yeah..the party on Saturday starts at noon so we have to leave early.� Meaning�we have to get up and be ready to leave by 7:00 am. Uggggg Couldn�t they have made the party at 2:00 or 3:00 in the afternoon for those of us who have to drive FIVE frickin hours to get there?? *sigh*

Still, it will be fun. Aubrey and I have been making picture frames for all of Carl�s family. I bought some $2 frames at the dollar store and painted them with black acrylic paint and then used puffy paint to make different designs and such on them. They turned out really cute. I will try to remember to take some pictures of them before I wrap them.

In other news, I got the estimates for the flowers *choke*. When did flowers go up so much? One of the vendors wanted $200 for my bouquet and all I wanted was one kind of flower! LOL So we�re looking at around $500 just for flowers. We�re looking at nearly $4,000 just for dinner. That kinda blows my budget of $5,000! LOL So now I�m back to stressing out (and yes I�m breathing Mon).

I made an appointment for January 8th to see the dress maker that Mon recommended to me. I�m really excited about that. I would really like to just get the dress taken care of so I can quit worrying about it. And I really wish that Carl would get on the ball about finding out if he has a best man or not. I had to cancel my appointment tomorrow at the other bridal shop because we have a department luncheon that I completely forgot about. We also have some kind of luncheon with a client to go to on Friday, so basically the rest of the week is wasted.

Tonight I have girl scouts. I�m hoping they aren�t too riled up this week. I�m so stressed out and tired, I just want to get their troop t-shirts made and then everyone go home. LOL

Several of the diaries I read have authors going through some depression recently. The holidays were always the worst time for me and I always seemed to make myself suffer so much. I�ve been on *Wellbutrin* since July and I can really tell a difference. Despite my ears ringing all the time, I don�t get very upset these days, at least not like I used to. That�s not to say that I don�t still feel sad or have unexplained emotional times. I still have those, but I seem to recover from them a lot faster than I did in the past. I have to admit that I don�t like the �artificial� way the medication makes me feel, but I can take that artificial feeling more than I can all the self doubts, the cruelty to myself, the thoughts that maybe the world would be better without me in it. My only advice to those of you feeling this way this holiday season�find someone to talk to. Find someone who can give you a hug and say everything will be okay. Because it will.

kellbelle at 1:32 p.m.

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