2005-05-11

So there

I sometimes feel like I am not living up to my full potential. I want to go back to school so bad, but my life is in no position for me to leave my job and go back to school. I would really like to go back and get a degree in family counseling or relationship counseling. I live in a college town with two major universities, so opportunity is not the issue. Maybe after I get my bankruptcy filed and get my life back on track I can think more about going back to school. I should check into night school. I haven�t as of yet because I didn�t want to put Aubrey off on Carl before we were even married. LOL I will talk to both of them about it and see what comes of it. I think it would give me the outlet I feel that I have been needing lately to get back in the world and be a useful and productive member of society.

Carl isn�t sure that counseling is the way to go. He thinks I take too much empathy from other people and carry it upon myself. I can see why he thinks that. I�m a very emotional person and I care a lot. However, I think those are good qualities for a counselor. My counselor was very emotional and caring. When I would get upset, she would cry sometimes. It showed me that she cared about me and I think helped our bond as counselor/client. But what do I know? hehe

I think we finally have the Memorial Weekend plans figured out. We are supposed to be watching Carl�s nephew for the weekend. His sister and her husband, as well as his dad and step-mom, are flying to Mexico on Friday. Carl�s aunt will watch the baby Friday and then we�ll take him for the rest of the weekend. Carl�s mom is having a shower for us that weekend. It will be the second wedding shower by that time. Carl�s work is having one for us in two weeks on the 25th. That should be fun.

Only six weeks until the wedding. Six weeks and I think only two weekends are free. Carl still has not started boxing up his things. I�d rather he didn�t pay rent on that place after we�re married, but I guess since we�re back from our honeymoon the weekend of July 4th, we can use that weekend and the day off for the holiday to get him packed up and moved. I still don�t know what he thought of my suggestion. I told him that he should only pack up what he really wants to take and leave the rest there at his place. Then he can have a sale and just let people walk through and pick out the things they want to buy. Then we can call paralyzed vets or someplace like that to come and pick everything else up and donate it. He just emailed me and said he was thinking of ending the lease on July 15th. Perfect.

Carl�s step mom called me last night to see what is left to do for the wedding. I can�t really think of anything so I�m going to go through a mental list here of what has been done and that way (hopefully) I will remember anything that has not yet been done.

So far I have brought my dress/lingerie, Aubrey�s dress, our shoes, and jewelry (including the wedding rings) to Austin. For the reception I already brought the guest book & pen, the thank you scrolls, and the drink coasters. The cake lady is paid off. I have to pay the hair lady. I still need to complete the programs, pay the musicians, pay for the flowers. What is an appropriate amount for my pianist/soloist? She is having to travel to Austin and spend the night at a hotel for two nights. I would either like to pay her or get her a really nice gift. She is my friend, so I�m not sure she�ll take money. Any ideas on something really nice I can get for her? Come to think of it, we haven�t gotten gifts for the parents, either. Mine won�t be there, but his dad and step-mom as well as his mom and step-dad. We were thinking nice bottles of wine or something along that line. Again, ideas are welcome and appreciated!

Blah� I�m going out to find something for lunch now. I�m bored and it�s really nice outside. So there.

kellbelle at 11:50 a.m.

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