2006-03-14

Can't sleep... I'm worrying again

I can't sleep. I got an email from the ex-SIL today that said she and the ex's mom went to his house to try and get more stuff out. When they got there they found that all the locks have been changed. The mortgage company has taken the house over. Great. All of Aubrey's things are still there, which means we've probably lost them and most likely they will be auctioned off.

I'm upset, angry, frustrated, tired, sad... I'm all over the place. I really think I need to get some counseling because it seems I feel this way most of the time these days. I feel such anger and rage for those people that I used to call my family.

To top it off, the SIL wanted to know where Aubrey's horse show is this weekend so she could go. I don't think so. I don't want her there and I don't want to see her ugly face. I think if I did I might punch her.

I try to sleep and my mind just keeps going off from one tangent to another. I fantasize about moving far away where they can't hurt us anymore, but I'm sure they'd find a way. I worry that they may try to get visitation rights to see her. She doesn't want to see them or spend siginificant time with them, but how do you tell them that? Aubrey is still scared of her cousin that molested her two summers ago. I suppose I could always use that as a defense for them NOT getting visitation, but we never brought charges against them and I wouldn't put it past them all to group together and lie or to try and convince Aubrey that it wasn't really a bad thing he did.

I'm just so tired of dealing with these people. I wish they would just go away. But that's really an unrealistic way to look at it. They are Aubrey's family and they will never go away. But I can dream.

kellbelle at 11:43 p.m.

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