2007-01-05

Coming out of the dark

I've come out of the dark and unlocked. Hopefully the Canadian has given up trying to read my diary by now.

Having a bit of postpartum stuff going on. But of course when your entire body feels like it's rejecting you, it's natural to feel a little off. The baby is great and we're having some scheduling issues... she's awake from like 2:00 am until 5:00 am and I can't keep doing that. I'm beginning to think about supplementing breast feeding with formula so that Carl can help more in the night and I can sleep. I'm not really fully keen on the idea yet, but we'll see how things progress over the next week or so. I can't keep doing this... especially when school starts. The sleep deprivation is probably adding to my meloncholy as well.

Carl thinks that I think he's not doing enough to help. I have no idea where he got that idea, but that has also led to the crying jags today. Now I've given myself a major headache along with all the other body aches and pains. I'm tempted to take the pain medication that the doctor prescribed me, but it passes to the baby and then she sleeps through feedings which isn't good. I don't need guilt added to the list of other factors making me feel bad.

Carl's dad and step-mom are coming tomorrow. They told us they are not staying here because they don't want to "disrupt" our life. That's bull. She either doesn't like the housekeeping or couldn't sleep in Aubrey's bed. Why not just say they're not comfortable here and put it on themselves instead of putting it on us by saying they don't want to be a "bother"? Weird.

Well, I'm going to try to find something to eat. We were going to go for haircuts today, but with Carl and I both moody, I don't think we're going anywhere.

kellbelle at 1:59 p.m.

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