2003-06-11

Holding On

Doug always tell me to hold onto the good things. To remember happy and positive times. And I do that. Not just with him, but with everything I do. But then I realize how much I don't want to be here ... how I don't feel like I belong here ... and all this shit going on seems to keep trying to prove it to me. But how do I find out? Where the hell do I go? Where do I belong? How long do I sit back and try to relax and wait to find a job? How long before they take my house away? Or before something else bad happens? I just don't know anymore... and waiting doesn't bring me any clarity. It just makes me more confused. Oh yeah... and did I mention that I'm INSANE??? I have a 7:00 am appointment with the personal trainer tomorrow. God help me.

kellbelle at 3:16 p.m.

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