2003-12-10

Restless Night

My evening wasn't that great last night. I did a little of my defensive driving and then got a call from my pastor.

He says I have been making him look bad at church. I have been out because of being sick and then my Christmas party, but I had arranged for backup. Well guess what? My backup didn't show up when I was sick. This person is supposed to be with me at EVERY class anyway to help me teach and it seems that she's been skipping out of teaching to attend other classes at church. Hmmm can I ask how that makes ME make my pastor look bad? If anything, I'd say it was the other woman who wasn't showing up to teach. So anyway, I'm not going to be teaching anymore.

Then, I still don't have my voice back from being sick, so I'm unable to sing for our choir concert thing at Christmas. I'm disappointed, but there's not a lot I can do about it. I talk fine, but I have so much crud in my throat that I just can't sing. What am I supposed to do about that???

I have really been feeling lately that I don't have a place at this church. That's really sad, because I love the people there. There is just no place I seem to fit in anymore. Jana says that maybe I just need to concentrate on enjoying my life for a while... that I don't "need" to be involved as much as I used to be with the church. Maybe she's right.

I do have a nice life now that I can enjoy... and people that I can begin to really enjoy it with. It just bothers me a little that my church is mad at me for things that are a little out of my control. I shouldn't say the church is mad at me, but my pastor is.

ANYWAY, Carl is coming over tonight to help Aubrey and I decorate the tree. I had to shuffle some furniture around last night and tonight Carl will have to help me move the entertainment center in the living room so that I have room for the tree. Hope he doesn't get stuck in traffic again. I don't want to be up until 10:30 decorating the tree.

My power went out again last night. That incessant beeping from the house alarm is very annoying. It woke me up from a VERY good dream, too. *sigh*

kellbelle at 8:48 a.m.

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