2003-12-16

Melancholy Tuesday

I'm feeling a little melancholy today. Not too sure why. I think it's because Christmas is coming and I know that this year I won't have my little sugar bug home with me. Normally I have her Christmas Eve and then her dad comes over Christmas day and we open presents and have lunch and then she leaves for the duration of her holiday. But this year... no puddin' pop on Christmas day. :( I'm trying not to act too mopey and clingy, but it's how I feel.

Not sure what Carl is even doing for Christmas or the days after. He knows I'll be by myself, so perhaps he'll offer up some suggestion, but I'm not going to whine about it and be all needy. Guilt induced attention is never really a good thing for either party. So I've been kind of sitting back and just letting things happen... which is HIGHLY unusual for me.

I'm really nervous about this weekend too. I mean REALLY REALLY nervous. My stomach has been going to town and my mind a million miles an hour thinking. I mean... is this a big deal that he's bringing me to meet family? I'd like to think so. An honestly I think it is a pretty important thing. But then I wonder if I'm making more out of it than it really is. *sigh* I'm so freakin' neurotic!

Tammy is out for a couple weeks from work. She's having surgery. I will miss having her here. And Stacy is out today as well. Apparently they had a gas leak at their house. They had to stay at a hotel last night and she has to run around trying to find someone to discover where the leak is in her house. That means I'm here all by myself all day. Fun Fun Fun. More time for being neurotic!

I fought the urge to call Carl this morning. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I think if I called him I'd start crying on the phone. LOL I don't need that today. Not this early in the day anyway.

In any case, I'm sure I'm just tired and stressed out from holiday madness. The day WILL get better and my overall mood WILL increase to a positive level. :)

kellbelle at 8:17 a.m.

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