2004-02-02

Monday Monday

Life is still really good. Financially even. I had that surprise refund of overdraft fees last week and that just made my whole weekend. Because now I have $400 I didn't think I was going to have, plus I got my bonus from work, so I actually have money after paying TWO house payments AND my car payment! hehe That means I can pay some other bills a little early and still have money for going away with Carl. You have no idea how much that rocks.

I need a new mailbox. I've needed a new mailbox since I moved into my house, but now the door has fallen off and when it rains everything gets wet, so I think I'm going to try to run to Home Depot or something at lunch since there is one really close to the office. I'm thinking about getting one of those really nice Rubbermaid mailboxes. No rust, no fuss. :)

I have also been thinking about selling my wedding ring/engagement ring. I was really thinking about saving it for Aubrey, or, perhaps, making it into some other piece of jewelry. It's a beautiful 3/4 heart-shaped diamond, and I probably won't get nearly what it's worth, but am I being silly and sentimental by hanging onto it? I wonder about this. I have dreams all the time where Gary and I are still married and they creep me out, but I wonder sometimes if I haven't let go. It doesn't help that he's always trying to rescue me financially. His refusal to let go makes it difficult for my mind to let go sometimes. So, Chou Chou, you're right... I should just let him live his life.

Aubrey told me that he is planning on going to California with her to meet his girlfriend in July. I'm still really torn up about this. I really don't want him to take her to meetin someone for the first time. That really disturbs me. And honestly, I don't feel it's because I'm jealous in any way that he's found someone. I'm happy he has someone to give his attention to. It means he won't have as much time to focus on me and his issues with me. I'm going to call today to get back into counseling, because this is really eating at my mind and I need to work it out.

Carl called me on the way to work this morning, which was a nice surprise. We're trying to cut down on using daytime minutes. He's trying to budget until after the trip. I cooked dinner Friday night and it was really good. Garlic chicken with pasta. Saturday we had a very late lunch at this really cool little restaurant/craf-type/bar place called Obzeet. I'm going to go back there and buy a chiminea for my patio. For $110 they give me the stand, the chiminea and wood to burn. Not a bad deal. :)

The more time I spend with Carl, the more and more time I want to spend with Carl. As I said last night, I get really bummed out when he has to go home. It drives me crazy that I have to wait a whole week before I can see him again. The Wednesday night things are getting a little too hectic. It will be easier to do in the summer when Aubrey doesn't have to go to bed so early or get up for school.

Okay, well I think that's it for now. I need more coffee and to do some filing (oh joy). :) Have a great day.

kellbelle at 9:34 a.m.

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