2004-03-09

I hate my ex

Am I stupid, or naive to think that I should be able to have a civil, normal relationship with my ex?? The man is killing me. No matter what I do, it comes back to bite me in the ass. His bank hates me (or he is maniupulating things on purpose to screw me up). I wrote him a check on February 29th for the monthly payment. It hit my bank TODAY. And because I was short by about $10 it bounced. So now I will have a week of bounced check fees because I don't get paid until Thursday at midnight. Which means his check will be presented 3 times before then and go back to him (to a tune of $105 in bounced check fees). I swear to God the man is killing me. Even worse than when we were married. I felt like I was dying then and I feel sometimes like he's fighting to remove what little will I have left. Because I have his child, I will never be rid of the man and I think that's what gets to me more than anything. I try to get rid of the holds he has on me, and fall into two more. When Carl is around I can take Gary. Because Gary sees that I'm happy and there's nothing he can do to me because he doesn't want Carl (or anyone else) to know what an asshole he really is. But when Carl isn't around, Gary is constantly pushing my buttons to bring me down.

kellbelle at 8:35 a.m.

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