2005-05-27
My friend Jacqui
I'm a little bit in shock tonight. I just spoke with a friend from the UK that I have known for a very long time. I have always considered him to be a father to me, even if he is so far away. And the woman I love as a mother, who struggled not once but twice with breast cancer, now has cancer in her brain and she's been given six months to live.
She didn't want me to know before my wedding, but I'm glad that I know it. I still can't believe it. I've never met her, but I love her. She has been a constant source of faith and support. She is, even now, the bright star she was the day that I met her. She's in the hospital now and will be receiving radiation for the cancer in her brain. She will then return home with some caregivers.
I'm not sure if Jacqui needs your prayers, but I know that anyone who knows her will. She's the beautiful mother to four amazing kids. She's a wife, a sister, a daughter and a friend. She has touched the lives of people that have never even seen her face.
I only spoke with her online a few weeks ago. We had the web cams on and were talking with the microphone and she seemed so happy. She got to "meet" Carl over the cam and saw Aubrey and I and was just so full of life and love for all of us.
I am devastated. I don't know how to feel or think right now. My head hurts from crying over someone I've never even met. How do you explain that to people? She was my friend for many years and we never met. The internet is so amazing. I only wish it could carry me over the ocean to where she is tonight. So that I could tell her with my own words, my own voice with my arms around her how much I love her and how much she means to me.
Getting older really sucks sometimes. The people around you start to go. I only just lost a friend a couple months ago who was a dear friend and mother figure. I shouldn't be sad for Jacqui. I'm sad for myself really... having to go on living without her laughter and smiles. But she gets to go home to her Father. And she knows that she is safe in His hands.
So pray for those of us who knew her that we have the strength to deal with all of this.
kellbelle at 8:47 p.m.
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