2006-03-22

A study in procrastination

Sometimes, as much as I love music, it's a torture to listen. I hear songs that bring feelings bubbling up from places long forgotten. Things I don't even normally listen to suddenly remind me of someone else. For example, Norah Jones is playing now and I can't help but think of my ex-husband. He loved her stuff. I "like" her, but she was never really "my thing".

With all music I have to be in the right mood to listen to some things. I'm listening to internet radio now, so I don't really have control over what is being paid. That can be a blessing or a curse.

In my last entry, I didn't mean to sound like I was beating up on myself. I didn't feel as if I was, I was merely posing some tough questions to myself that I think I need to look at and answer.

I found out that I can probably get some counseling at school through the student life department. I need to look into it some more. Specifically I think I need to address the grief issues. It's been almost a year, but I feel as if I've barely scratched the surface of the crap I carry around with me and don't express to others. I guess it's one reason that I appear hard on myself here. It forces me to be accountable... to me if anyone at all.

I'm so tired. My back is hurting from note taking, but I have a test review to finish for tomorrow. I always have something or another to finish and little time to just sit still, but yet I find time to procrastinate and sit still. LOL

I'm on my second glass of box wine. It's actually pretty good this time around. I need to remember this brand for next time. Just a simple blush... table wine... but it's nice. And I need to quit babbling and study.

kellbelle at 6:53 p.m.

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