2006-05-03

The Letter & Midwife Visit

Thanks to everyone for the great comments and suggestions. I did talk to Aubrey about it when she got home from school yesterday. She was in a great mood and didn't even know what I was talking about at first.

She said that sometimes she just gets confused about things she hears or reads. Instead of coming to me about it, she tends to just worry about it. The letter she referred to was the letter that had the code for the house on it. I had printed it out to take with me to the ex's house to gain entry.

She got scared because she didn't know what the letter meant. She misses living in Mesquite. We talked about what life was like before Carl came along and Aubrey said "you were really sad and lonely" I asked her what I was like now and she said that we have a lot of fun, we have a nice house with a pool, she loves school... all positive things. I told her that sometimes we forget how bad things used to be and it's like a dream for us and we wish we were back there. But it's important to balance good times with bad times.

I told her that I don't expect her to "love" Carl. She doesn't have to call him DAD or anything... I just expect her to respect him as an adult and listen to what he says. That seemed to make her feel better. I told her that I wasn't trying to replace her dad... that no one could ever do that. She mentioned that she's been having fun with Carl, they have made dinner together a few times and when I cook they do the dishes. She mentioned that he does take her fun places (ski trips, Chuck E. Cheese, etc.) so she recognizes that not all bad things have happened since Carl came along.

Yes, she is very frustrated and scared by all the changes. She starts middle school next year, starts band, starts a whole new way of school life, so she's anxious about that as well as we're coming up on the year anniversary of her dad's death as well as the reminder of that ... our wedding anniversary. While I'm aware of all these things, the letter just took me by surprise.

Aubrey came with me to the midwife yesterday and she had fun. She said "I'm never having babies!" after watching me get the initial exam. Apparently I made some pretty wild faces because Aubrey said "did that hurt??" hehe No, it doesn't really hurt it's just really really uncomfortable being propped open with a speculum and then having a hand shoved up inside you to feel the size of your uterus! I must say, this is the first time I've ever been to a woman for that stuff. She was a lot more gentle than the last doctor I had (who was a man).

ANYway.. the official due date is December 18th!

kellbelle at 11:13 a.m.

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